Stuff Today - Issue 7609
Thursday 27 May 2021
Elbow Day
PAPIGOCHIC, n.
A middle-aged man's overlong haircut, intended to make him look younger.REASONABLE, adj.
Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion.NO GLANS LAND, n.
The nether regions of a lady's nether regions. The carse, taint, tinter, notcher, snarse or whatever.Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact
Poem Of The Day
Poopee poopee poopee poo
Oh poopee poopee poo
Poopee Poopee poopee poo
Oh Poopee poopee Peeeeeeeee!
Pooing is easy
Pooing is fun
Pooing is brown
It comes out of your bum.
Pooing is magic
Pooing is great
Pooing is tasty
When it's done on a plate.
Poo poo poo your pants
Fill your pants with poo
Smellily smellily smellily smellily
Now I smell like you
Mary had a little poo
She strained for quite a while
She strained so hard she went quite blue
And now she has big piles
Poo poo crap sheep
Have you any shit?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Bags of it
The wheels on the poo go round and...
(maybe not)
Show me the way to go home,
I'm tired and I really need a log
Oh I had a vindaloo about an hour ago
And I don't half need my bog,
My pants are becoming quite brown
And I've got a turtle's head
And you'll always hear me singing this song,
As I shit inside your bed
("all together now!")
Little Boy Blue has lost his poo
And doesn't know where it's gone
It went with his herd, they ran off with his turd,
It was brown and sticky and long.
Give it some slack, maybe it will come back,
Free it and it will return,
Or have a quick curry, and try not to worry,
But just the one or it might rather burn.
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her toilet
Her knickers were down by her knees
She let out a moan
And then a big groan
And shat like she had some disease
Somewhere over the u-bend
Poo-turds fly
Turds fly over the u-bend
Why then oh why can't I?
If happy little poo-turds fly,
Beyond the u-bend,
Why Oh Why
Caaaaaaaaaaaaaan't I?
If you don't read this shit, someone else will!
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