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Stuff Today - Issue 7730

Saturday 25 September 2021

International Ataxia Awareness Day - visit: www.ataxia.org/events/international-ataxia-awareness-day.aspx

Today's Hat: Sombrero

The Deeper Meaning Of Liff

NOAK HOAK, n.

A driver who indicates left and turns right.

The Devil's Dictionary

REVEILLE, n.

A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted. In the American army it is ingeniously called "rev-e-lee," and to that pronunciation our countrymen have pledged their lives, their misfortunes and their sacred dishonor.

Roger's Profanisaurus

MEAT AND TWO VAG, n.

A threesome involving two ladies and a smiling man who keeps pinching himself.

Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact

In 1929, the Coca-Cola slogan was "The Pause That Refreshes."

Poem Of The Day

Pooing

A gaseous malodorous
Stinking savage fart
Was all that I could manage
When I spread my cheeks apart.

It wasn't brown or sloppy,
It wasn't thick or long.
Surreptitiously invisible,
But it didn't half pong.

I attempted urination;
I squeezed 'til I was sore.
But I couldn't coax my bladder,
I just parped foul gusts some more.

The queue outside the bathroom
Was quickly getting longer.
But I was fucked if I was leaving
'Til I'd dropped a log-like ponger.

I clenched my buttocks firmly
And pushed with all my might.
I growled and moaned and grunted,
But still I couldn't shite.

An hour passed - I gave up.
I didn't stand a chance.
I sadly left the bathroom
Where I promptly shat my pants.

- Kate Rancid (b. 1973)

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