Stuff Today - Issue 7752
Sunday 17 October 2021
St Neot's Day
NETHER POPPLETON, n. obs.
A pair of P.J. Proby's trousers.PROPERTY, n.
Any material thing, having no particular value, that may be held by A against the cupidity of B. Whatever gratifies the passion for possession in one and disappoints it in all others. The object of man's brief rapacity and long indifference.BOG SNORKELLING, n.
Dirtbox diving. Anilingus.Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact
Poem Of The Day
Well, I wish I was a woman,
A woman just like you!
Why, think of all the things
I would do.
I could dream all day about
My empties getting filled
And go with my friends
To the Townswomen's Guild.
I could drink my beer
In half pint jars
And go shopping with you
Looking for bras.
Why, I wish I was a lady,
Just like you.
I'm telling you all the things
I would do.
I'd two-time boys,
Play with sex toys.
I'd get pregnant, eat out on a binge
And I'd have fun at night playing with my minge.
You're probably wishing I would give it a rest
But I can't help thinking about the size of my breasts.
My tits would be large, larger than yours,
And I'd have a reputation as a right old whore.
But if any bearded cunt declared my breasts to be pert
He would surely find out how much they can hurt.
Why, I'd sandwich his head between my knockers
And make him eat my knickerbockers.
No more would he call me titch
He'll soon find out I'm a right bitch.
So when you're poking your coal sat on the loo
Think well of me - I'm poking mine too!
If you don't read this shit, someone else will!
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