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What Katy Does

Where does Kate address her geese?
In the gardens of Belize.
Attentively they stand for yonks
Then when she's done respond with honks.

Where does Kate put on her coat?
Behind the wise old nanny goat
Who checks to see the tail's not creased
And only then is Kate well pleased.

How does Kate control her fridge?
It's always wandering on the ridge.
I think she feeds it lime and gin;
It's always got a joyful grin.

Why does Kate eat cottage cheese?
It stops her foaming at the knees,
It keeps her armpit hair in place
And stops it wandering 'cross her face.

What does Kate do when she's bored?
She dresses up as Anna Ford.
Before her cat she reads the news
And then next day it all comes true.

Mike Stools (b. 1962)