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Come To Grimsby

Come, oh come to Grimsby town
A place of smiles and ne'er a frown.
Where life is good and full of joy
For man and woman, girl and boy.
Take a stroll along the street
Shake the hand of all you meet
Take the air along the quay side
It's a bit like being at the seaside.

See the girls in summer frocks,
Guaranteed to harden cocks.
All around is glaring beauty,
So indulge - it is your duty.
Even if you're on your uppers
You can still get your fish supper.
Be you a saint or Jack the Ripper,
Everybody gets a kipper.

Come, oh come to Grimsby fair,
I know you'll really like it there.
Take a taste of crab and lobster
Fresh from market, not from mobster.
Buy yourself a bag of winkles,
Extra salt you'll need not sprinkle,
Or a walk along the dock'll
Find you hankering for a cockle.

How wonderful, the Grimsby folk.
Always there to share a joke,
Generous and never greedy,
Happy just to help the needy.
What a marvellous place to be
That glorious town just by the sea,
So come with me my wholesome matey
To that great place on the A180.

Mike Stools (b. 1962)