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Mike Stools
Kitchen, dining, swivel, reclining,
All these chairs I got 'em.
So when my legs are weary
I've a place to plonk my bottom.
A sumptuous leather armchair
And a chair that's filled with beans.
I even have a golden throne
That's fit for kings and queens.
Chairs of oak and pine and beech
Or even moulded plastic
Fill my rooms with seating space
It truly is fantastic.
Everywhere within my house
A chair stands on the floor,
But even with my plethora
Of chairs I still want more.
But when I come back home
With yet another purchased chair.
I find that I can't put the bleedin'
Bastard anywhere.
So now they're stacked so high
That if I want somewhere to sit
I've got to climb a stack of chairs
Which wobble quite a bit,
And when I've got up to the top
And sat down I am feeling
Quite unstable with my head
Pushed up against the ceiling.
But that's OK I'm happy,
And I haven't got a care.
Everything is wonderful
When I am in a chair.
So, if you'd like a cup of tea,
Please come round to my place.
Because I find I don't get many
Visitors these days.
I just don't understand it
'Cos I'm such a genial host,
And when it comes to seating,
Well, my house has got the most.
So, let me put the kettle on,
Sit down and put your feet up
I would be most delighted
If you and I could meet up.
Say what you like about me
I am not the sort to roam,
But most of all at least I've got
All my chairs at home.
