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Kate Rancid

The Stupid Rabbit

The Stupid Rabbit

The baby bunny flapped his ears
And ran along the grass.
He flapped so hard it wore him out,
But he could not fly, alas!

He looked up at the big sky
At feathered flying things,
And wished his ears would disappear
And the stumps would sprout some wings.
He went to see Professor Hoot
Who lived beside the creek,
And told him all his troubles.
The owl began to speak:

"Yer stupid twatty bugger,
What the fuck d'yer think yer on?
Yer go round flappin' like a bird?
Yer great big spazzy mong.
Now get yerself together,
Yer mad as fuck, yer are.
Just remember you're a rabbit -
Now fuck off, I'm having me tea."

And so poor bunny gave up,
And sighed a little sigh.
He knew his ears were there to stay,
He knew he'd never fly.

So the rabbit went off sadly,
A tear ran through his fur.
"So, I'll never be a bird," he sniffed.
And then his head fell off.

The moral of this story
Is just be glad you're you!
And if you're not, you might just find
Your head will fall off too.

And get flushed down the loo

Like a big hairy poo

Boo hoo.

Kate Rancid (b. 1973)