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Kate Rancid

Not Funny Anymore

Not Funny Anymore

I really don't know why
But I'm not funny any more,
Like a boil that has been lanced,
Or a nicely healed arse sore.
Like a man that almost fell off
A big log but then was saved,
I'm a paragon of common sense
When once I was depraved.

I used to be so rude,
But now I struggle to say "poo".
I can't muster a titter
When I'm sat upon the loo.
You could all shit your pants
And all I'd feel was rather ill.
It's rubbish being sullen
And it gives me no big thrill.

Yes I used to be so funny
But now it has all gone to shit.
I just can't crack a joke,
Not even one about my tits.
If I had wrote this poem
Weeks ago you might guffaw,
But now it's just as funny
As a scab that feels all sore.

I think I'll end this verse now,
As it will not make you laugh.
It's sadly unamusing
And really rather naff.
I think I'll go and do some work.
It might just get me smiling.
I think I might just start
With some filing.

Kate Rancid (b. 1973)