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Kate Rancid

My Bits

My Bits

My arse is like a daffodil,
It smells as sweet as flowers.
It feels a bit like petals,
And it looks like Stephanie Powers.

My cunt is like a tulip,
Its sweetness hard to place.
You would like it in your garden,
Or even on your face.
(And no.
It doesn't smell of plaice.)

My finger is a useful thing,
I can stick it up or down.
But if I stick it up my arse,
It goes brown.

My tongue is hot and sticky,
And long as long can be.
I'll put it somewhere icky,
Until you want to wee.

I have some cotton panties
That once were white as snow,
But then I had a period
And now they're reddish brown.

Oh, how I love my brassiere,
It keeps my breasts so bright,
And stops them jumping up and down,
And blocking out the light.

Oh, how I love my bra,
It's functional but pretty.
If it wasn't for my lovely bra
My tits would be all shitty.

My cleft is like a valley
In a far-away Welsh town,
Except it's a bit smaller
And more brown.

I like going down the pub
And drinking lots of tipples,
But mainly I stay home and put
Clothes pegs on my nipples.

(.) (.)

Kate Rancid (b. 1973)