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Kate Rancid



I wish I was a lesbian
A lover of things gay
I'd choose a bird with massive tits
And on them I would play
I'd get my hair cut nice and short
And wear a baggy jumper
And when a lady called for tea
I'd lick her and dry hump her
I wish I was a lesbian
Oh I wish I was a dyke
I'd get myself a girlfriend
That's something I would like
I'd take her to a gay bar
Crammed full of lovely muff
And ladies with fine muscles
All butch and hard and buff
Oh I wish I was a lesbian
I think of it each day
Life would be much better
If I could make myself turn gay
I'd get myself some dungarees
And throw away my frock
And I'd get to suck on fanny
Instead of boring cock
Yes I wish I was a lesbian
I'd shag a load of women
In sweet vaginal juices
I'd be paddling, no, swimming
I long to taste that pungeant fish
And give those tits a tug
I'd love her from her sweet smooth face
To her massive hairy rug
I wish I had a lesbian
Like Clare Balding off the telly
I wouldn't mind if she exercised
Til her minge was slightly smelly
I'd shave my head and burn my bra
And my knickers, for good measure
If only I could just become
A massive raving lezzer
Oh I want to be a lesbian
Men are so pass
I'm sick of beards and big bald heads
Oh God, please make me gay
I'd rather have a lovely girl
Than a great big hairy man
How I wish I was a lezzer . . .
Oh wow. I think I am!

Kate Rancid (b. 1973)