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Kate Rancid



I know what people think of
When they think of Leeds.
They think of stretching beaches
And a gentle summer breeze.
They think of summer sunshine
And spiky palm trees,
And bronzed and well-toned girlies
In bikinees.

Yes, I know what people think
When they try to picture Leeds.
They think of talking parrots
Munching sunflower seeds,
Of ice-cream and risotto,
And buzzing honey bees,
And happy little children,
And charitable deeds.

Oh, I know what you are thinking
When you're thinking about Leeds,
But I'd like to put you straight now
To put you at your ease.
Unless you're a bit strange,
Or have Alzeimer's disease,
You'll agree that Leeds
Is fucking crap.

Except the Royally*.

*The Royal Park Hotel - the finest outlet of beers and salted peanuts in Leeds.

Kate Rancid (b. 1973)