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Renate Kai:

Oh lovely pooclub,
You're so great,
You make me lazy,
You make me late,
You make a monitor obscure my vision,
When I should be doing,
My revision.

Oh wondrous pooclub,
I'm so bad,
My books are downstairs,
Driving me mad,
You're quite the only club for me,
Oh shit.
I'm going to fail my degree.

Mike Two-Sheds:

Pooclub, pooclub
You're so fab,
And I am going to
Turn to flab.
Here I sit each day
At work
And jabber like a
Brainless jerk.

I must get pooclub
Off my back,
Or else I'm going to
Get the sack.
But then it sends me
Wondrous words,
So beautifully laid
Like shining turds.

Kai & Two-Sheds