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Stuff Today - Issue 7179

Monday 23 March 2020

Today's Minor Blasphemy: Gor Blimey

The Deeper Meaning Of Liff

NINDIGULLY, n.

One who constantly needs to be re-persuaded of something they've already agreed to.

The Devil's Dictionary

PROPHECY, n.

The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.

Roger's Profanisaurus

BOMB BAY BEDBATH, n.

A shitted bed following a pleasant night of curry and lager. A Mrs. Chegwin's face-pack.

Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact

In Canada, the most productive day of the workweek is Tuesday

Poem Of The Day

Ode On Snow

The snow is falling from the sky
the day is cold and shitty
some say it's pleasing to the eye
But I don't think it's pretty.
As children smile to see it land
I moan and rant and hate it
I'd like to take it in my hand
And through a grater, grate it.
I'd like to put it in a fire
And see it disappearing
Or hang it from a big live wire
And see it melting; smearing.
I hate the snow, it makes me sick
It's cold and is no fun
I long to take a pointy stick
And poke it up its bum.
I hate it, as it falls and falls,
And makes the street turn whiter
I'll take each snowman by the balls,
And melt them with my lighter.

- Kate Rancid (b. 1973)

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