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Stuff Today - Issue 7174

Wednesday 18 March 2020

National Jibbing Out Of Things Day

Today's Noble Gas: Argon

The Deeper Meaning Of Liff

OSBASTON, n.

A point made for the seventh time to somebody who insists that they know exactly what you mean but clearly hasn't got the faintest idea.

The Devil's Dictionary

RASH, adj.

Insensible to the value of our advice.

"Now lay your bet with mine, nor let
These gamblers take your cash."
"Nay, this child makes no bet." "Great snakes!
How can you be so rash?"
Bootle P. Gish

Roger's Profanisaurus

FLAPJACK, n.

1. A dense, syrupy cake that has pretentions to healthiness.
2. medic. A quim quack's tool for jacking flaps apart. A speculum.

Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact

Ancient Egyptians used the spice Thyme to help preserve mummies

Poem Of The Day

A Woman Waits For Me

A WOMAN waits for me - she contains all, nothing is lacking,
Yet all were lacking, if sex were lacking, or if the moisture of the
        right man were lacking.

Sex contains all,
Bodies, Souls, meanings, proofs, purities, delicacies, results,
        promulgations,
Songs, commands, health, pride, the maternal mystery, the seminal
        milk;
All hopes, benefactions, bestowals,
All the passions, loves, beauties, delights of the earth,
All the governments, judges, gods, follow'd persons of the earth,
These are contain'd in sex, as parts of itself, and justifications of
        itself.

Without shame the man I like knows and avows the deliciousness of his
        sex,

Without shame the woman I like knows and avows hers.

Now I will dismiss myself from impassive women,
I will go stay with her who waits for me, and with those women that
        are warm-blooded and sufficient for me;
I see that they understand me, and do not deny me;
I see that they are worthy of me-I will be the robust husband of
        those women.

They are not one jot less than I am,
They are tann'd in the face by shining suns and blowing winds,
Their flesh has the old divine suppleness and strength,
They know how to swim, row, ride, wrestle, shoot, run, strike,
        retreat, advance, resist, defend themselves,
They are ultimate in their own right-they are calm, clear, well-
        possess'd of themselves.


I draw you close to me, you women!
I cannot let you go, I would do you good,
I am for you, and you are for me, not only for our own sake, but for
        others' sakes;
Envelop'd in you sleep greater heroes and bards,
They refuse to awake at the touch of any man but me.

It is I, you women - I make my way,
I am stern, acrid, large, undissuadablebut I love you,
I do not hurt you any more than is necessary for you,
I pour the stuff to start sons and daughters fit for These StatesI
        press with slow rude muscle,
I brace myself effectuallyI listen to no entreaties,


I dare not withdraw till I deposit what has so long accumulated
        within me.

Through you I drain the pent-up rivers of myself,
In you I wrap a thousand onward years,
On you I graft the grafts of the best-beloved of me and America,
The drops I distill upon you shall grow fierce and athletic girls, new
        artists, musicians, and singers,
The babes I beget upon you are to beget babes in their turn,
I shall demand perfect men and women out of my love-spendings,
I shall expect them to interpenetrate with others, as I and you
        interpenetrate now,
I shall count on the fruits of the gushing showers of them, as I
        count on the fruits of the gushing showers I give now,
I shall look for loving crops from the birth, life, death,
        immortality, I plant so lovingly now.

- Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892)

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