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Once I awoke, all a-choke
and knew I was in trouble
At half-past four, I ran to the door
as my arse began to bubble

Quick to the throne, and quite alone
my hole began it's heaving
My rear it strained, expression pained
the signals were deceiving

A grunt, a hiss, a smell of piss
the bomb bays opened quick
my face was blue, the torrent flew,
and splashed my balls and dick

The smell; it stank, the air was rank
my stomach reeled at the pong
With arse on loo, I knew, I knew
It was all going wrong

I eyed the basin, my mind was racin'
Could I reach? I think ...
I stretched and stretched, and then I retched,
and threw up in the sink