Friday the 13th.
The very name of this day strikes terror into people's hearts. We've all seen what happens on Friday the 13th, unspeakable horrors terrorise us over this 24 hour period and scare the willies right out of us.
Everything we try to do on Friday the 13th turns to shit. In fact sometimes I can't even do a shit successfully. For most of us there's simply no point in getting out of bed. We just know we're going to be beset by a whole barrage of bad luck.
So what can we do about it? Well, we can't stop Friday the 13th happening. And we can't stop the powers of darkness making it an unlucky day. But I got thinking about balance and harmony and cosmic stuff like yin yang and how negative stuff gets balanced out by positive stuff and vice versa, and actions having equal and opposite reactions and shit.
So, I reckoned that if there's this really intensely unlucky day when all the shit happens and everything, then there must be an equal and opposite lucky day in which everything goes right. Just think, you can piss about all you like and nothing goes wrong!
Well, I've been doing some sums and research into old calendars and almanacks and I've discovered the Lucky Day! It's Tuesday the 22nd! Honestly, whenever the 22nd day of the month falls on a Tuesday, you're going to get really amazing luck! And just so that you don't miss out, I've compiled a list of forthcoming Tuesday the 22nd's for you to look forward to.
Let's look forward to...